About Dating Violence – archived
If you think you or someone you know may be in an unhealthy relationship, call, text, or chat now with a hotline advocate.
The Hotline provides crisis intervention and referrals to an emergency situation and support services to victims who are in an abusive relationship. In addition, Hotline advocates can provide information and resources to concerned family and friends.
The Hotline is confidential, available 24 hours a day, and can help you no matter what language you speak.
Could this be me?
Sometimes it’s hard for a victim to recognize when they’re in an abusive relationship. There may be misconceptions of what loving behavior looks like. It’s important to be able to identify unhealthy relationship patterns — and know that there is something you can do about it. Get to know the signs and get help if you need it.
Am I Wrong?
There is nothing wrong with questioning the health of your relationship. If it feels wrong to you, then you might be right to seek help. Become familiar with the warning signs as well as the reasons why it might be hard to leave a toxic relationship. This may help you determine whether you should be concerned. Below are examples of each.
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About Dating Violence
WARNING SIGNS OF AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
- Always checks your cell phone
- Constantly puts you down
- Is extremely jealous or insecure
- Makes false accusations
- Tells you what to do
- Makes you do things you aren’t comfortable with
- Physically inflicts pain or hurt in any way
- Demonstrates possessive behavior
- Repeatedly pressures you to have sex
- Isolates you from family and friends
REASONS WHY SOMEONE MIGHT STAY IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
- Don’t think they’re in an abusive relationship because there’s no physical violence involved
- Think certain behaviors are normal
- Blame themselves
- Feel there’s no other option for them
- Are promised it won’t happen again
- Are too afraid to leave
- Believe their partner might change
- Feel personally responsible for their partner’s behavior
- Ashamed about how others will react
RECOGNIZING DATING VIOLENCE IN OTHERS
- Unexplained injuries, bruising, or other pains
- Unseasonable weather (like wearing long sleeves in the summer)
- Withdrawn and not as social as they used to be
- Acting fearful around their partner, or being quiet or letting their partner answer questions and speak for them
- Symptoms of depression and trauma, like exhaustion, confusion, isolation, and panic
- Blames themselves for their partner’s anger or dissatisfaction
- Minimizes or denies arguing or fighting with their partner
- Stops taking care of their own mental, emotional, physical and spiritual needs
- Frequent visits to the doctor or hospital for unexplained or odd reasons
- Missing school, work, or social obligations more often than usual
How to Help
Listen
You may be the first person your friend, coworker, or loved one has told about the abuse. Validate their feelings by letting them know you believe them, you’re sorry this happened to them, and you are here to listen.
Support
Let them know you are a safe person to talk to. Do this by being supportive and not asking questions that could place the blame on them. Avoid statements like: Why do you stay? What did you do to make them mad? What were you wearing?
Connect
Connect them to resources that can help, and let them decide who to con- tact, if they want to contact anyone, and when to do it. Taking the first (or second, or third) step to get help is hard, and can often put victims of abuse at risk. A great resource is the Illinois Statewide Domestic Violence Hotline, available 24/7, 365 days a year.
The Network
The Network: Advocating Against Domestic Violence established an Emergency Crisis Fund for survivors of Domestic Violence to address critical gaps in the safety net for survivors. While current funding will be used to respond to issues arising from the COVID-19 crisis, we intend to maintain this funding as a support for survivors across our community.
The Fund will prioritize supports for survivors where no other funding is applicable. Examples of supports include, but are not limited to: rental assistance, educational and social supports for e-learning for clients in shelter or community emergency housing, diapers, food or groceries, supports for incarcerated survivors, emergency cell phones, or bill payment to remain in housing. Other requests will be considered.
If you or a survivor is in need of emergency funding during COVID-19 you can submit the application below via email to Emergency@The-Network.org or mail to 1 E. Wacker Dr., Suite 1630, Chicago, IL 60601 or fax: (312)527-0733
Where to go for help
Illinois Statewide Domestic Violence Hotline
1-877-863-6338
If you or someone you know needs help, call the Illinois Statewide Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-877-863-6338. Trained Victim Information and Referral Advocates are available 24/7, 365 days a year to answer your questions by phone. You can also text the Hotline if you need help.
The Network
The Network: Advocating Against Domestic Violence established an Emergency Crisis Fund for survivors of Domestic Violence to address critical gaps in the safety net for survivors. While current funding will be used to respond to issues arising from the COVID-19 crisis, we intend to maintain this funding as a support for survivors across our community.
The Fund will prioritize supports for survivors where no other funding is applicable. Examples of supports include, but are not limited to: rental assistance, educational and social supports for e-learning for clients in shelter or community emergency housing, diapers, food or groceries, supports for incarcerated survivors, emergency cell phones, or bill payment to remain in housing. Other requests will be considered.
If you or a survivor is in need of emergency funding during COVID-19 you can submit the application below via email to Emergency@The-Network.org or mail to 1 E. Wacker Dr., Suite 1630, Chicago, IL 60601 or fax: (312)527-0733
